Week 21 – Fake it ’till you make it ;)

Wohooooo, the roller coaster is up in the air again. Only that this time I am less fearful and more willing to enjoy the experience.

I know Fear is sitting next to me but this time I won’t let her taking the driving seat. You ugly travel companion, watch me if you dare !

The feeling of taking possession of the New Me is incredible. Sometimes, I meet that Cristina during the sits. Not in the thoughts but in the feelings. I perceive it like a sensation of omnipotence comming from my body. From the inside. Once you integrate a new sensation through your body, your mind will be able to reach it faster and faster. This is my aim now, to recall that feeling until it takes fully possession of me. I give permission to the New Me to manifest.

Looking back at the last 5 months of my life, they were probably the most reach in moments and blessings since I know myself. Sure,  I was happy, well surrounded, and searching for my purpose in life before too. Only that I was taking those blessings more like a matter of luck, not knowing that you create your own luck. I was a fatalistic,  whatever I like to admit or not.

After a little bit of the fairy-tale-world-within revealed to me, I understood I can be the painter of my life. I am learning now to mix better the colours, to use different brushes so I can make from each day of my life, a beautiful work of art.

Still working hard to improve my technical skills and to listen better my feelings so I can make those “paintings” the way I see them in my world within.

I am confident  that day I will be able to make an “exhibition” with each of those “paintings” and that exchibition will inspire other people’s daily work of  art. Art of living, art of giving, art of receiving. Art of loving.

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Week 20 – Cement is falling…

This week a big and heavy piece of my cement armor felt down revealing a bit more of the winner leaving inside of me.

That piece has deployed while I was reading the stories in the “Tools for expanding”. You don’t understand the power of that mastermind until you don’t get in there and observe. I identified myself in so many of the posts after reading them in the quiet of my room, with no one to watch. Or to judge.

Still it was hard to recognize that to myself. Again, what do I pretend not to know?

How many times we find instantly an excuse when we receive a remark!? No matter if we say it out loud or not, our mind is defending itself because all these feelings associated to the fear are exactly the ones that we don’t want to hear. The dirt under the carpet. You pretend they are not there if you don’t “see” them. But just because they make you feel tight, does not mean that you can deny them. You can of course but that does mean that you are hiding the looser inside of you. And by hiding it, you just keep it alive.

Starting from now, I let that looser die in his comfort zone. And the first step I  do in this direction is to watch the Fear straight in her eyes.

Who will win?

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Week 19 – Hell YES, I am supposed to be here !

How many times I’ve been asking myself if I am supposed to be where I was ?!? How many times I didn’t dare to fully take my place ?!?  Didn’t even realize before I am occupying just partially my place, not always sitting comfortable in the best spot or stretching like a cat in the morning.

No worries, I learn again how to open and stretch myself. And it feels great, fulfiling me with heart wishes.

The video of week 19 was another Surprise for me. Another “Aha” moment that you think is The One…until next week.

All of them remind me about the person I intend to become.  I know already that person, I see her so often. She always take her place, value herself and knows to find something good in every person she encounter.

 

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Week 18 – Hard questions

Let’s face it! We are all sometimes guilty of substitution where we swap out hard questions for easy ones because they are just too difficult to answer.

Lately I’ve been experiencing this feeling quite often and week 18’s question just twisted the knife. My concern is, “Am I brave enough to identify the hard questions?” To face them, to accept them and not to replace them with easier ones?

It is not about beeing dishonest with myself but rather picking up my questions in such a way the answer would contain the excuse for not acting like the person I intend to become. And who needs excuses? Definitely not me! They are the only thing standing between me and my goals.  So Cristina, choose wisely your questions from now!

And what keep me right now from beeing the person I intend to become? Not having enough courage to act? Not being so much disciplinate? Not taking the sweaty decisions? Not persisting once I took a decision?…

…While I wrote this last paragraph, a voice whispered in my head: “It is Fear darling”

Fear?!?  Fear of what? What am I affraid of?  What’s the wish behind that fear? If only I would have the courage to put on the table my deepest fears…

…then I would expose my deepest wishes.

“What am I affraid of?” seems a hard question for me. And a harder one would be: “What am I able to change so I can make my way throught fear?”

 

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Week 17 HJ – Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes

As Mark pointed out in the video of week 17 HJ, we get so fascinated with the pieces that we may forget why we are here. This phrase was the refelction of the week for me. It keep spinning in my mind like a whirligig.  Am I fooling myself thinking that this journey will reveal me a golden Buddha lying inside of me when it is just a dreamer phantasy? Am I so exuberant about everything happening now and I miss to see the forest because of the trees? Am I living just an illusion of the things deeply moving on, creating for me a fairy tale reality when it is only a postpone of the real reality? Because  it feels for me like a little fairy tale that I learn to create upon my wish. My fear is not in my doubt in fact. My fear is that I’ve never been so sure in my entire life – I never felt so deep that all this changements are for real. My fear is to not be blinded with a temporary  enthUsiasm that will vanish one day.

Now I feel like a Phoenix bird, rising from the ashes, stronger,  powerful and beautiful.  And yes, it’s frightening sometimes to know that you dig deep into your true spiritual essence to summon that Grateness lying asleep inside of you. What you will do with it once you will awake it?!?

Will you stay commited to the purpose of your life? It takes a huge responsability to take action. It takes courage (my virtue of the week) to make the change.  It takes  patience to accept the new you, comming into pieces into a roller coaster rather than on a soft cloud. It takes a huge sacrifice shaking you out of your confort zone. But in the end it stretch your mind to new ideas that will make you grow like a mountain, never again alouding you to shrink to a grain of sand.

Those past months I’ve been doing Kung-fu with my old Blue Print. Although nothing major changed in the world withouth, the world within was shaken from the roots giving a whole new meaning of my DMP. I feel that a major shift is happening inside of me and will completely change my life.

It is interesting how the wishes that started to manifest first from my DMP are the most “insignifiant” ones. And I understand now why: I first had to feel better in my skin, to take my whole place, to overcome my insecurities and fears, to get rid of belives I “carried on” since my childhood and to find the real symbols of the big achievements I am working to bring them in my life. For instance, being a professional musician represented for me more a way to express the power, to be accomplish and to take a place in the society while now is more about being true to myself, express myself the way I am. When you change the way you look at the things, they look differently and you can approach them in a more authentic way.

I must conffess, I don’t do perfectly all the requirements (from where my concern if the internal shift is real), I always miss a read here and there (little cheater I am), “forget’ to flash my cards or to write my gratitudes each day.

Instead I never miss a sit, I have my “obstinatos motives” playing in my head all day long: I always keep my promises, I always play in tune, I always tell a story,  (related to my musical career), I can be what I will to be – Do it now,  You are whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy, etc

And that 7 days Mental Diet…gosh, it was the most challenging thing I have ever did in my entire life. It is there where I did fight with the Beast. And I won. Not in 7 days but in 3 months and a half of daily persistence. Even though I completed these 7 days, I must be vigilant all the time because that Beast is still inside of me, waiting to take the power back. Here it is how 7MD becomes LMD (lifetime mental diet).

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Week 17 – “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere!” (Albert Einstein)

Folks, we can  create everything we can imagine!! Yes, if we are able to create it out of nothing inside our mind, we will find the resources to make it happen in the world witouth. That’s a big concept I start to understand. And when I say understand I mean that it starts to get life inside of me. Not like any other  motivational quote that you can read all over and say to yourself “Indeed!” then you forget about it and it doesn’t have any impact in your life.

Imagination starts now to have a huge impact in my life. It is the best motivational tool I found in my “kit-bag” and it push me burn my bridges and make my Dharma get alive.  Imagination is a good friend of our limitations. It activates when we reach our limits and we need to improvise in order to overpassss them.

It is funny but I learned that from my 5 years old niece while we played the “Capitan and the vassel” in her bed. I was using my imagination to keep her into bed so she can sleep soon as it was late. And she used her imagination to keep the game alive in such a limitate condition as she was not allowed to go out from bed, nor to bring other toys.

I’ve realized she was calling on her imagination after observing her language. She used the Past Continous Tense all the time, placing herself into the center of the action and acting like she already did all that…conquer the seas, fighting the pirates and saving the prince and his bird.

Exactly the same way we are learning now to do it. Remember? When you want something, you have to think and feel that you already have it.

Since that night, I started to pay more attention on what Imagination can bring you and how powerful can make you feel. And it was exactly what I needed to get myself from the shore in the middle of the waves.

Only that it does not come so easy! Of course not. What comes easy won’t last, what last won’t come easy. I know that.  I also know that I must prepare the ground for it to happen. And I don’t figure it out always how.

To start, I give myself another makeover word to accompany me every day of every week for the next 6th months: Imagination.

If that makeover plan works with all those virtues, why it wouldn’t work in the same way with a world that defines such a plastic part of our mind?!?

If it works, I win the Game.  I would say it definitely worth to try.

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Week 16 – Replace selfishness with selflessness so you can be the change you want to see in the world

This week was the most explosove week of all the MKE adventure. All the members gathered together with an unique purpose: to make this world a little bit kinder. Isn’t it that amazing?!? To commit for a whole week to the Good. To be the maker, the observer and the receiver of the Kindness?!? We were preparing the soil for this week since September: to be able to create a little Heaven on Earth by loving unconditionally.

This week made everything much more real. We were living the Love and Happiness we are receiving since September. The transition came perfectly synchronised with the end of the Christmas Holiday – that period of the year when everyone tries to be a better person, with the begining of the year – a natural moment  of new resolutions and with the makeover plan.

The subject most en vogue, on the lips of everyone was of course, The Kindness. I used in purpose the french word “vogue” because it make me think at those fashion magazines where everyone speaks about fake symbols of power, happiness and beauty making this paradox even deeper. We actually found the true symbol of all good in the Kindness. To explain that I am gonna tell you a story about hell and heaven.

It says that in hell a group of hungry, emaciated men were sitting at the dining table full of delicacies. Problem was, their hands were shaped like unusually long spoons – as they attempted to eat they just couldn’t get the food into their mouth. It was agony! Nobody could eat.

Interestingly in heaven, it was the same dinner table, the same cuisine and the same long spoon-shaped arms. However, everyone seemed happy and healthy. As they began their meal, the secret was revealed. In heaven, everyone utilised their long spoons to feed the person opposite, and they were being fed in return. Perfect cooperation that revealed the lesson: selflessness versus selfishness – that’s the difference between heaven and hell.

Sharing, after all, is caring. Selflessness even makes sense on a practical level. If every person in a community of 50 people is thinking about themselves, then everyone has one person looking after them. If we selflessly focus on others, however, then everyone has 49 caretakers! It may sound idealistic and utopian, but it could work. The depth and quality of any interaction is based on the degree of selflessness employed. Until we change the ‘me’ to the ‘we,’ genuine relationships, inner fulfilment and deep spiritual experience will remain elusive. At every moment we are challenged to chip away at miserly selfishness, and become kind, open-hearted and generous souls.

Isn’t it amazing the shift we are making? The golden Buddha we are unveiling?iad-si-rai