Year 2. Week 11 and 12. Catching up

I know, I did post this video last year too. Eventhough I thought this year will be easier to follow the MKE program because I know already the path, it is not. Here am I, identifying  myself with the little hamster, trapped in his own enthusiasm. The yellow one, not the white one…

My mind is sometimes like a wild eagle, flying all over and trying to accomplish as much as it can. Which would not be particulary a bad thing. Only if I’d stick with the new good habbits, no matter what. Not quiting them wheneaver the time is shorter.

Lately I’ve been travelling a lot, then comming back and trying to catch up with everithing I left in hold here in Brussels, than the removal of 2 of my wisdom teeths totally knocked me out for 2 days. It was not the pain or discomfort that I experienced (rather did not experienced), it was the anesthesia that kept me quiet and still. And observing. I could observe my thoughts, my fears, my resistances and everithing that keeps me for going straight after my goals. Often comming desguised in something else so my mind can deal with it witouth even noticing the trap. The mind is such a tricky partner. And a coward and lazy one. Bad mind.

“If I fall, I fall, it’s just another challenge. I’m gonna fall, it’s just the way it is, you get back up and you learn from your mistakes.” Those worlds of Dj Gregory resonated so deeply with me. What we are affraid off? Why we always go for the comfort? The same familiar patterns that assure us that we will not fail.  Nor progress either.

As a Red, I am often focused on the action, on the talking and feeling the gaps. The problem with taking instant action is that it always lead you into a familiarity. Following the easy path that leads you where you have been already. Perhaps, I need to stay still and listen more, I need to be the observer more than the actor so I can understand better the parts of my life that are yet to be filled. Then I could fill those parts with something more valuable and lasting.

 

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6 thoughts on “Year 2. Week 11 and 12. Catching up

  1. Christinica, first I want to say what a beautiful name you have. My daughter Christa, I lost at 6 years old and that reminds me of her. I also identify with the yellow hampster. With all the enthusiasm I get lost and out of control on my journey as well. Great insight. Thank you for sharing that wonderful video
    George DiLeo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you George! I am sorry to hear about your loss.
      I think we all get lost at some moment, it is part of the journey! It means that we are getting out of our comfort zone and that can be very messy sometimes. Stay strong!

      Like

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