Year 2. Week 6 – How dancing tango learned me to let over the control

Dancing tango is a marvellous experience. It is not only beautiful in its appearance, but more so in its content, in the unseen part of it, where you  can close your eyes and follow your instinct and intuition. Where you can listen what your partner  is silently communicating throught his/her body. There is another part of the brain that opperates there, another type of communication that is established between the pairs. A communication that goes much deeper and intimate than words. But you need to let yourself go. While you dance, you need to give away your need of control and to forget all what you know about steps and sequences if you want to be able to really listen your partner and create that beautiful moment together. To me, dancing tango is like attending a banquet of emotions. But it wasn’t always like this…

As a Red and a control freak – technically obsessed I can be sometimes, I used to be very preocupied by the mecanic of the steps during the process of learning tango, often memorising the steps of the leader too in order to help him learn the sequence faster. What I was totally missing was to be there, well anchored in my axis and well present in the embrace. Because of that, I was missing the whole experience, the whole beauty of the dance.  My desire to control the process was the reason why I couldn’t BE in control of  that marvellous experience. I learned later that the only thing I had to control, was…myself. My own axis. To be able to  keep steadily my axis and only lean on my partner when he asked to (also, a matter of trust here).

Why am I sharing about my tango experience in my blog post? Well, besides the fact that tango (and lindy hop)  is one of my core passions, it teached me so much.

Last year, I started this observer – no opinion exercice, trying to keep my own perspectives and oppinions for myself (failling miserably so often). I learned through it that more you try to control things impossing your own oppinions and beliefs, more you loose control. More you try to control, less you ARE in control. More you try to correct someone else’s axis, more you loose yours. Then you waste energy and you cannot enjoy the present anymore. Neither your present neither their presence.

In tango, when you are in control of your own axis, well connected to your partner through the embrace, you are able to react creatively to his lead and create a nice moment out of it. That’s where the beauty comes from.

And that’s the exact beauty of life (at least to me): when you are in harmony with yourself, you are anchored in the present, freed from limited beliefs of what you should be and where you should arrive. Then and only then you can pause witouth fear of missing something, adorn your path,  express your emotions and develop your imagination using what life is getting you on your way.


Chicho Frumboli & Juana Sepulveda


5 thoughts on “Year 2. Week 6 – How dancing tango learned me to let over the control

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