Week 17 HJ – Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes

As Mark pointed out in the video of week 17 HJ, we get so fascinated with the pieces that we may forget why we are here. This phrase was the refelction of the week for me. It keep spinning in my mind like a whirligig.  Am I fooling myself thinking that this journey will reveal me a golden Buddha lying inside of me when it is just a dreamer phantasy? Am I so exuberant about everything happening now and I miss to see the forest because of the trees? Am I living just an illusion of the things deeply moving on, creating for me a fairy tale reality when it is only a postpone of the real reality? Because  it feels for me like a little fairy tale that I learn to create upon my wish. My fear is not in my doubt in fact. My fear is that I’ve never been so sure in my entire life – I never felt so deep that all this changements are for real. My fear is to not be blinded with a temporary  enthUsiasm that will vanish one day.

Now I feel like a Phoenix bird, rising from the ashes, stronger,  powerful and beautiful.  And yes, it’s frightening sometimes to know that you dig deep into your true spiritual essence to summon that Grateness lying asleep inside of you. What you will do with it once you will awake it?!?

Will you stay commited to the purpose of your life? It takes a huge responsability to take action. It takes courage (my virtue of the week) to make the change.  It takes  patience to accept the new you, comming into pieces into a roller coaster rather than on a soft cloud. It takes a huge sacrifice shaking you out of your confort zone. But in the end it stretch your mind to new ideas that will make you grow like a mountain, never again alouding you to shrink to a grain of sand.

Those past months I’ve been doing Kung-fu with my old Blue Print. Although nothing major changed in the world withouth, the world within was shaken from the roots giving a whole new meaning of my DMP. I feel that a major shift is happening inside of me and will completely change my life.

It is interesting how the wishes that started to manifest first from my DMP are the most “insignifiant” ones. And I understand now why: I first had to feel better in my skin, to take my whole place, to overcome my insecurities and fears, to get rid of belives I “carried on” since my childhood and to find the real symbols of the big achievements I am working to bring them in my life. For instance, being a professional musician represented for me more a way to express the power, to be accomplish and to take a place in the society while now is more about being true to myself, express myself the way I am. When you change the way you look at the things, they look differently and you can approach them in a more authentic way.

I must conffess, I don’t do perfectly all the requirements (from where my concern if the internal shift is real), I always miss a read here and there (little cheater I am), “forget’ to flash my cards or to write my gratitudes each day.

Instead I never miss a sit, I have my “obstinatos motives” playing in my head all day long: I always keep my promises, I always play in tune, I always tell a story,  (related to my musical career), I can be what I will to be – Do it now,  You are whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy, etc

And that 7 days Mental Diet…gosh, it was the most challenging thing I have ever did in my entire life. It is there where I did fight with the Beast. And I won. Not in 7 days but in 3 months and a half of daily persistence. Even though I completed these 7 days, I must be vigilant all the time because that Beast is still inside of me, waiting to take the power back. Here it is how 7MD becomes LMD (lifetime mental diet).

NP4FepQ

 

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10 thoughts on “Week 17 HJ – Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes

  1. Great blog Cristina – I don’t think you are alone for one minute – we are all fighting our shadow beast – but the most important thing is to KNOW our true inner self-wants to get out and play in the outer world – WE JUST HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY and let it happen. But MY GOODNESS that is hard sometimes the old blueprint wants to still hang on. So well done for the steps of taking back YOUR power.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I only have on word….. FANTASTIC! 🙂 keep going!!!!!!!!! well I DO have more words: the passage about why you are a musician: BRILLIANT!!!!!! went straight to my heart, and I can’t wait to hear you play again some time in the near future!!!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too Dominica, I can’t wait to play again for you. I remember the lesson we had last year and you told me something about the reasons I may built sand castles when I pratice. I don’t remember exactly the words but since that lesson I keep searching my answer. And I think I found it. So after few months of total silence on my viola, I took my place, Monday I have my exam and I am prepared to set one of my vassels on fire 🙂
      That’s why this week is about Courage for me.
      No way back from now!
      Again thank you. Wish your persistance for me to answer the call will turn back tenfold to you ❤❤❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great blog! Love it! Love the way you describe your insights and also how you turned your desire to be a professional musician from the perspective without to be from your true self within, expressing yourself. That is that it’s all about. For all of us. And I loved that you stretched out the perspective about our whole journey to be a lifetime perspective. Yes, indeed, a LMD.

    Liked by 1 person

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