Year 2 – Week 4. About dreams, feelings and other wonders…

Whenever I want to do a sit or I think at Haanel’s book, this paragraph comes in my mind: “There is a world within – a world of thought and feeling and power; of light and life and beauty and, although invisible, its forces are mighty.” (1.6) The next paragraph says: “The world within is governed by mind.”

However, the thought is empowered by the feeling. I’d say, the world within is truly governed by feelings. Your emotions, when understood and accepted, become a powerful source of thoughts. If you learn how to translate them into ideas, then YOU can master your dreams and not let THEM master you. Only then you get back to your essence and alighn those two “parallel” worlds.

Your dreams and deepest desires are generated by your emotions. And sometimes, those emotions are so deep burried in layers comming from the world witouth, in fears and habbits of thinking and feeling in a certain way, that we don’t allow ourselves to feel them.

And so, we shape our reality upon everithing else than our dharma. Our dharma rest just…a bunch of dreams. Just dreams, bigger or better than we could reasonably expect from reality. Just.

Wouldn’t be sad? Wouldn’t be a pity to not explore the source of our dreams and aspirations? To not cherish them if they are the trigger of emotions we experience?

The daily sits have thought me so much. They have learned me to observe more and control less. When you switch your desire to control with the ability to observe, you can finally get the real control. But that’s the cause, not the effect anymore. I will write later about this. To complete my post, I would like to post the Blue Prind Builder, in the way I read it now, focusing only on the action to take and and the person I want to manifest.

 

First. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life, therefore, I DEMAND of myself persistent, continuous action toward its attainment, and I here and now promise to render such action.
Second. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind reproduce themselves in outward, physical action, and gradually transform themselves into physical reality, therefore, I concentrate my thoughts for thirty minutes daily, upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.
Third. I know through the principle of auto-suggestion, any desire that I persistently hold in my mind is seeking expression through some practical means of attaining the object back of it, therefore, I devote ten minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-LOVE.
Fourth. I have clearly written down a description of my DEFINITE MAJOR PURPOSE in life, and I persist, until I shall have developed sufficient self-confidence and resources for its attainment.
Fifth. I fully realize that any wealth or position can only endure when built upon truth and justice, therefore, I engage solely in transactions which does benefit all whom it affect. I succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I inspire others to serve me, because of my willingness to serve others. I develop love for all humanity, because I know that only a positive attitude toward others can bring me success. I determine others to believe in me, because I believe in them, and in myself.
I signed my name to this formula, commit it to memory, and repeat it aloud once a day, with full FAITH that it will gradually influence my THOUGHTS and ACTIONS so that I will become a self-reliant, and successful person.

 

I also changed everithing to the Present Tense because for me it is happening now. That person I intend to become, manifests here and now. She does not  prepare to get out of the shelf anymore but is learning how to fully take possesion of that…shelf.

 

Finding Neverland – “Just” a dog scene

 

 

 

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Year 2 – Week 3. We get what we look for in the others. So look for greatness in them.

I would like to start this post by expressing once again my gratitude for this amazing chance I had by taking the MKE cours. I am even more grateful to be able to empower the first experience, by starting all over.  I just will to pay it forward one day and change the life of the people around me with the life I began last year. I read three times per day, during one month “Today I begin a new life” and I had no idea how accurate that sentence is 😊.

Last week, during the sit, another layer of dust from the mirror went away and the image got clearer: I found the answer for a question I was reflecting since weeks. I was wondering why I obstinately attract in my life something I do not want. Why, the same pattern always and always ?! I started to have the feeling that it is me who create that pattern but I didn’t know how or why is it happening. Cristinica – the little girl unveiled during last year – must have been negotiating a lot with Mister Ego –  fatty, obtuse and often very annoying Monsieur –  in order to make him step away and allow me to see that truth.

During the sits I kept looking for the answer, I tryed to be an observer so I could see everithing from above. And the answer came. While running in the park, I was listening once again “As a man thinketh” by James Allen. (I always run better and longer while listening personal development books ☺). When I heard it: “Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” I heard that so many times before but only this time, the information got into my cells. And it had hit me like a thunderbolt. The impact was so strong, I had to stop the run for few minutes to process that understanding. I knew it was the key I was looking for, I knew for what door the key is, I just needed to open the door and look behind it. 

The next sit I got it: it was a piece of the puzzle I was not able to see in myself. Once I understood and felt that as a part of me, so many people around me came into my mind like a flash. And they all had and expressed that piece of the puzzle since always. It was in my face and I couldn’t see it so far because I was not able to recognise that in myself.

 

I am so overwhelmed by this epiphany, words are to humble to allow me express that gut feeling I have right now! I cannot describe neither the whole experience because it would take me the pages of a novel. I can just confirm that when you have questions to ask for yourself, life will always give you the answer, sooner or later.

 

Also, I see now blue rectangles everywhere 🙂

Last year, this subject was a “Let’s change the subject!” for me. I was not able to see them at all and I gave up even looking for them at one point. Just because they did not show up into the perfect shape and shade I would expect them to come, I was not able to recognise them. Nor to create them out of what I was given. 

I guess, this is what happens when your beliefs are limited and shaped previously. You stop asking questions and you don’t react anymore creatively to the present.

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Year 2 – Week 2. Dusty mirrors

As children, we are all innocents, it is our nature. The problem is, how we keep that innocence when we grow up?!  How we can conserve that pure state of mind which gives us vitality, makes us react creatively to the present and keeps us curious about life?
Somehow, innocence is another state of ignorance. The positive side of it – when you believe in Santa Claus, when your parents are almighty, when myths are not just myths and all people are always good and kind. Sadly, we bury our innocence in layers and layers of conditions and expectations. The innocence is a mirror and the conditions and expectations we impose to it, are layers of dust. At one point, the dust is so thick, we cannot see anymore the reflection of the mirror. And so, we forget about our true nature. We look at it but we don’t recognize it anymore.
The good news are that our true nature is kept inside, it is not lost. We just need to clean the mirror from the dust so we can see it again. It is not a process of becoming, it is a process of rediscovery. A discovery that lead us to change. Changing the superficiality, changing our deepest beliefs, changing the comodity that gives us apparent stability. Change the way we think and the way we look at the things… so they will look differently.
Will you dare?

Year 2 – Week 1. You know the truth by the way it feels

Exactly one year ago I was sitting in front of this computer, starring at the white screen and thinking what to write about in my very first Blog. I had the feeling that a fantastic journey is about to start and I also thought it must be important to track it down. Still, I was full of fear and scepticism at that time.  Something totally new came up to me and I was still not sure if it was a good thing or just a delusion.  You know, like those fruits from supermarket that look perfectly shaped and shiny to blow your eyes but with no taste at all? I was affraid of something like that.
One year after I am so grateful I listened that voice in my heart and took the call.
Last September, my mind was like a wild garden. With nice flowers but still, randomly bloomed. And with many, many weeds impeding the flowers to grow and blossom. During these 26 weeks, we learned how to better direct our thoughts, how to take care of our garden. We meticulously cleaned the garden from the weeds, prepared the soil and watered the flowers. It was not always easy. In fact, it was a hell of a challenge where we had to get acknowledge of every single weed in the garden. We had to search for their roots and try to get them out from there. Those plants – our thoughts, the world within – are creating the garden in which we live – the world without.
You become what you think about it. Or, to express it in a different way: what you think about and the way you think about something, leads your actions and shapes your reality.
But where all those thoughts are coming from? And why they are charged with different feelings and beliefs? Why a thought can made someone move a mountain while remaining inert when passing to another individual mind?
The answer is in the gap between the thoughts. When your mind is silent, your heart is talking. Researches have proven that there is a constant exchange of information between the mind and the gut – the solar plexus. Furthermore, there is more information comming from the gut to the brain than the other way around. That’s how thoughts are originated and that’s why the meditation is so powerful. It helps you align your thoughts with your feelings. It helps you translate your feelings and your desires. It helps you understand your true dharma so you can live the life YOU want and not the life expected from you. All that, if you are brave enough to get out from conformity.
But, the most important, it allows you to get surrounded by your true essence. That’s the gold inside: your true essence. “Once you see that gold, the armor and the concrete will never satisfy you again”. Just love the supplement of the week 1 about the Golden Buddha. It had a huge impact on me last year, when I saw it for the first time. And it still has the same impact on me now 🙂
My promise and my challenge for this second year of MKE, is to get more close to my true essence. To take the golden out from the cement. After learning how to control and drive the thoughts, it is time to silent them so I can listen what my feelings have to tell me.
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Week 24 – Pinky promise

Since the begining of this journey I carried on a strong belief, triggered by the impact Golden Buddha storry had on me. My belief was that there is a little Cristina burried inside of me. Even though I could not see or touch her, I was sure she is there. With the same strong believe you have about possessing a brain: you cannot see it or touch it but you know it exist inside of you, driving everything from the blood pumped to your heart until the thoughts crossing randomly your mind.

I knew she is locked there, in a cement cell of the world within but didn’t know how to get to her. How could I give her the keys so she opens the gate that link the world within with the world withouth ?

The truth is that I held in my hand a bunch of keys. So many keys, I couldn’t know anymore which one is the right one. So I decided to identify what the cement of the cell is made of and to learn how to dissolve it. Wall by wall.

In this way, she could not only open a dark cell but dissolve that cell bringing light and fresh air on the same spot where before was darkness and dust.

I was shocked to see that the cement was mainly made of Fear…fear of not reaching the expectations, fear of being judged, fear of not receiving enough love, fear of loosing control and so many other fears sometimes well disguised.

It wasn’t easy to make those walls disappear and I know that alone it wouldn’t have been possible at all. No one is an island, neither me.

I take this opportunity to thank MKE and each mastermind partner for all the help and support they provided me since September. Together we released that Cristinica so now she can make her own journey. Yes, it is a commencement, more clear, more happy and more harmonius.

Yes it totally worth this experience, yes (Dominica) I can also divide my life in two now: before and after  MKE and yes I am looking forward for what is to come.

Hell yes, Cristinica is whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonius and happy!

And I make a promise to her: I will never again build walls arround you, nor close you in any inner cells! Pinky promise 😉

 

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Week 23 – The winner is here

So less to cover until the end of this tremendous class!

So much of the cement unveiled and yet so much to explore. From now on, the exploration continues from the perspective of the winner. Yes she is here, fully taking space and I can totally feel it. This week I replaced all the affirmations with the one and the most valuable for me right now: ” The winner is here”. I could feel it with my cells and I could act upon it. I feel so much gratitude for this new shift in thinking.

During the last coffee, Mark made me realize I hold in my hand a golden key when he said “I do my P90ex not to reach my body goals but because that’s what healthy people do.” Ba-booommm, I must do things not because I want to acheive something but because that’s what winners do.  Acting like a cat who looks in the mirror and see a lion not like a mouse catched up in the kitchen when the light is turned up.

This new perspective makes the things become effortlessly and push you in the spotlight. From there it may look like you are vulnerable but in fact you are powerful beyond measure. And the new habits are established so much easier.

Like our dear Ogy said,  ‘Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts. ‘ – this is the first ever passage I highlighted from the first reading since I read the Scrolls. It had a huge impact on me.

I think, now I am ready more than ever to understand this concept. And I am happy it came at the end of the cours leaving me with a taste of victory and making from this whole experience the begining of a New Life.

Week 22 – Hide and seek between feelings

One of the things I like the most in MKE is that we were able to unveil so many and different types of feelings which make up our whole being and this in such a little amount of time. Fantastic to learn that even the negative ones can be a great expanding tool and had their role in building the person we are  right now. Only to be able to recognise them.

Those revealed feelings allowed me to get inside of me and discover a bit more of that golden person covered with cement. They helped me understand better the way I am builded and they made the polarity inside of me transparent : The conformist, resigned and comfortable Looser  and the ambitious, passionate, always willing to try again Winner. Now it is up to me to laser focus on which one I want to let alive. Only one will be fed. I know each one what is capable off so I think the decision has been already made.

Speaking about feelings, I would like to share a lovely story I heard when I was a child. It touched me then and it still does.

The author left anonymous unfortunately.

《 A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, the virtues and vices wandered bored, not knowing what to do.

As Tedium yawned for the third time in a row, Ingenious came up with an idea: “Let’s play hide and seek!”

Cabal raised her eyebrow and Curiosity couldn’t help but ask: “Hide and seek? What’s that supposed to be?”

“It’s a game” replied Ingenious. “One of us will start counting. From 1 to 1000 000. In the meantime all the others will hide. When the one counting is done he’ll start looking for us and the last one to be discovered wins.”

All of them liked the idea immediately. Excitement and Euphoria started dancing with joy.

And Joy was cutting capors in such an enthusiastic way that even Doubt and Indifference wanted to take part. Only some of them couldn’t be convinced: Truth preferred not to hide at all, why so? In the end she’d be discovered anyway. Pride thought it was a dumb game (really he was just angry because it hadn’t been his idea) and Cowardice didn’t want to risk too much.

Then Madness shouted: “I want to count, I want to count!”

And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: “One, two, three…”

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Laziness was the quickest to find a hiding place, he just dropped down behind the nearest stone. Faith rose up to the sky and Envy hid in the shadow of Triumph who had managed to climb all the way up to the top of the tallest tree. Generosity had difficulty to find a place to hide in because each spot seemed to be the perfect hideout for one of her friends.

A crystal clear lake… a wonderful hiding-place for Beauty.

A dark cave… perfect to hide Fear.

On the back of a butterfly… the best spot for Lust.

A gentle breeze… brilliant for Freedom.

Egoism had found the right place from the start, airy and cosy… and just for himself.

Lie said that she would hide behind the rainbow, but hid at the bottom of the sea.

Passion and Desire were hiding in the centre of a volcano and Forgetfullness… well, I forgot where Forgetfullness hid, but that’s unimportant.

As Madness counted: “Nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine…”, Love still hadn’t found a place to hide. Every spot seemed to be already taken.

But then her eyes fell on a rose bush and she decided to hide between its branches.

“One million!” counted Madness and he started to search for the others.

First to be discovered was Laziness, just three paces away from the nearest stone.

Then one could hear Faith arguing with God about theology.

Passion and Desire could be heard vibrating inside the volcano.

At a lucky moment Madness found Envy lurking in the shadow of Triumph and thus discovered Triumph too. Lie was found hiding at the bottom of the sea, no wait she was behind the rainbow. Egoism turned up all by himself because his hidey-hole turned out to be a wasps’ nest.

All the running and seeking made Madness quite thirsty and when he approached the lake he found Beauty. Doubt had been easy enough to find too for he was sitting on a fence unable to decide on which side he should hide. Thus madness discovered one after the other. Talent lying in the lush grass; Fear cowering in a dark cave.

Only Love was nowhere to be seen. Madness looked everywhere. He sought in every nook and cranny. And just as he wanted to give up he saw the rose bush. He picked up a little branch and started stabbing wildly at the rose bush. He stabbed and stabbed until a heart-breaking cry made him stop. Love emerged from the bush covering her face with her hands.

Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love’s eyes. “What have I done! What have I done” Madness shouted. “I have left you blind!” and he started crying and he apologised and promised her to be her guide forever more.

And so it came about that from that day on, since the first game of hide and seek was played on this earth, Love was blind and was always accompanied by Madness. 》